The Korean struggle...

After a long time I wanted to write a Blog Entry on my changing life & changing attitude on the influenza I caught after I got into this Korean Struggle..Every now & then we all dream from childhood to visit a Foreign country...On May 2nd 2009 I started off to Korea on a bussiness trip. I was excited,energetic & enthusiastic as ever.

As Soon as I came here, I got news that my boss dad passed away & he was in leave for a week. Life was little good during those days when I used to sit for 12-14hours a day. Simply doing some work here & there. I felt I was in a alien land with Bruce Lee & jackie chan's around..

Then the Lion came back & the struggle started.I was sitting in the office all the time & sat more in weekends & infact the week never ended. I felt tired all the time, drooping eyes & drowning mind with sorrowful faces around...we still laughed like begger's laughter...we still had fun with the will to live & push life harder as the tough keeps going.I ran & ran...I forgot that there is something called evenings in life..I can only see nights,mornings & lunch inbetween to greet the sun. Life ran so fast that I only felt am in a train.65days passed so fast & still am running it hard. I work for almost 16hours a day on a average & many times worked overnight also.Manydays,I used to count the hours left for me to go back to office & try to sleep as quickly as possible to feel the sleep..sometimes I missed it too.Life is little more a struggle than difficult. I pushed myself hard & felt locked up in a Korean Jail with permission to guest house for food & sleep.

Life's sounding like difficult,but the best part is I felt I missed small things which I never wondered I want in my life or maybe always there in my life. I missed my 8 hours sleep,Saturdays & Sundays, fresh mondays or mornings,Idly & Dosa though I had Indian food. I felt life is going to be very good from now as I'm going back to my mother nation & life cannot be tougher.But the stay extended as usual.

Everytime I feel am upset on my lifestyle, i used to think the days which were so normal those days sounding like a pleasant memory.The days I used to leave office on time,have fun in the friend's place.I was hardly able to think much as work was always loading me all the time & I really feel am lost in work. I could hardly see a world outside this diameter.Life is so very different.
It is 70odd days in this Foriegn country with one or two visits outside & 2days out of office. Maybe a struggle but it makes me think how much I've changed. I wanted a lot in life before,but now I cant count anything which I feel I need.I feel I have everything, still not using anything. I will not say I'm Sanyasi,but I would say I've realised the toughness of life.I've realised 100bucks is still energiser yet the pain is more!! I have the heart to face any struggle going forward, seeing myself more confident than ever.More optimistic & a will to win all the time.Maybe I dont wanna live like this as every struggle should end as it has always been & every struggle sows success seeds.Maybe, this is yet an another accident,rather this is yet another incident in life or a phase in life I could never forget.

Jackpot

Manytimes in life I've felt I'm lucky.I get things right in the right time.But sometimes I used to wonder if my lucky life also would be luckier..than the right proportions of luck I get in life....And yes,it happened this week.12.5kbucks in less than half an hour...Can u believe it?Well,I will tell how? :-)

Tuesday morning I came back from Chennai & I was little tired....Soon as I came to office I logged into the stock trader terminal as usual & in a hurry I thought of the usual strategy(dumb) of bidding 40TCS for 450...in which I will gain around 800 if it clicks...this strategy I was trying for a week then without luck... :P

Then when I verified,to my surprise I saw the deal was completed at 490(Current Price)...I was blamming my fate & when I turned back to the price..it was shooting upto 497 in a second...I was thrilled & I did a Bid to sell at 510....to my surprise it crossed 510 within seconds..& I was happy to complete my deal with a profit of 800 in 10minutes...

The real story begins now...When I verified my account it was showing 410shares in the net holding..I was really surprised to see this...The current price went up to 515 & I was at 25Rs profit for every share I sell...God that's the jackpot....It was like luck riding me....I was really happy to see this & tried immedietly to sell....But luck again favoured me...I was not able to sell!!!

I tried to sell in many different ways & still the stock exchange was reject my plea. I was confused a lot,but happy that price was only up to my surprise.I spent some 10minutes to sell,then I decided to call up the customer care to sell the shares for me...By this time the share value shoot up to 520,30Rs profit per share....wowo....Soon as when some picked up...they were telling some procedures to do intraday trading & stuff...again my try was failing, so I called up the traders line to sell the shares.

Finally I sold 410shares at an average of 521....& I made a ransom of 12.8K in a short time of less than half an hour....Well,if at all the extra bit of luckier luck didn't hit me I would have never had the guts to buy such a bug volume & if at all I knew how to sell,I wouldn't have reached this big a profit...I made all that profit just because I did not know how to sell the shares I bought.Sometimes life gives you riches even if u didn't feel it....again a positive accident indeed....

On the Error-terror....

Date:27th,Nov,2008.Time:00.30AM,Mumbai
I was fast asleep and I got a call from my brother in America asking "There seems to be a blast in Mumbai,are you safe in Mumbai?". I said Yes and slept...soon one more call came from my friend stating the same message with more fear.I was little shaken and slept back again....The whole night I had something running in my mind..I was not able to distinguish whether it was my dream or truth....But fear was building up in my heart.I had a drowsy sleep till the morning dawned....

Very soon I got up...I switched on the TV and browsed through the News channels to find about the terror I heard in the night...Hell...I felt this was much more in intensity than the ones we saw in the past.They were telling that there is fight going on with the terrorists in the Taj,Oberai & the Nariman house.Down came the first call from my mom,with lot of fear she asked if I was safe.....I said "Yes".

Sooner or later all my friends called up....I felt like I was in grave and striving to get up...I was really sad about why all this should happen in this world with so much hatred.I felt the terrorist are not the humans we talk about.They are some cold blooded machines to Kill and getting destroyed.I can't see them like dying,but a machine getting damaged or exploded.I don't see any good reason for them to attack us and spoil the peace we all bestow in our lives.

The whole of Mumbai seemed to have been glued into the TV sets watching the Times,NDTV & other news channels.I saw Mumbai like never before in my 10days stay there.There was so much panic.I felt more heat when my company called up and asked me to move to Delhi.

Date:28th,Nov,2008,Mumbai
Finally my company HR decided it was safe to move out of Mumbai though I didn't feel like moving to Delhi,I need to push off to the Airport.I saw the streets almost empty,with most of the shops around closed and the sense of fear was well felt.

I felt everyone around was in loss from the guest house I lived(27 bookings got canceled for them in that one day) to the Cab I traveled(The driver hardly got any customers going out) & everything seemed more like a troubled occasion.

Sometimes fate is good to a few and bad to a few.I met a couple of good fated people who narrowly missed all this terror attacks.

1.My Cab driver drove past the Marine drive at 8.30PM with his Chinese customer having his dinner in the Chinese restaurant.He escaped in a matter of an hour to be precise as the attack was there around 9.30PM.
2.My co-passenger in the flight to Delhi was a Canadian who was supposed to stay in the Oberai and attend a meeting in the Taj.He came a day late which saved his life & also the people who accompanied him. Maybe one of the closest escapes.
3.There was also a attack in the other side of my office at Ville parle at around 10PM...I left that place by 7.30PM

I felt like this is one of the worst terror attack our mother nation has ever experienced.But we cannot stop our lifestyle.We should not abstain from anything because of these ruthless machines-Terrorists.We should never fear a machine we cannot repair, we need to be united,we need to fight the error,terror and destroy to core.This cannot happen if we fear and stay away.We need to prove them wrong by getting back to routine as soon as possible.We lost a lot in this attack,but we got a good opportunity to unite and live together & show to the rest of the world that India is Safe place to Live.

Last but not the least,I salute the martyrs who lost their lives,especially their families & friends.The only way to show our gratitude is to move freely without expressing our fears by showing our faith in our safeguard forces,let's live & not fear the terror.

Let us all join together,Sink our differences,Rise above our petty jealousies and rivalries and remain as one,strong,unified Indian.

JaiHind!

The 24th Birthday...

Yea am completing my 24years of existence in this world and starting my 25th year into this world.For many years my birthday has always been something similar and I have many to be around with....My mom making the sweets,my friends wishing me & going out for some party...
And the celebration,though very small goes on till the night dawns...

But this one is different,I'm in mumbai this time and it's really different to me...I dont know anyone here...I see a lot of people,speak to many but none is closer to me..A world whole lot of difference...A place where no-one understands the languages I speak,a place where temptations are high,but the real difference is I'm not able to celebrate...I'm hating the way life is turning out to be....A lot difficult than it used to be....

Well....the sweet factor is many of my friends wished me as usual. I'm glad that my brother who usually wishes at normal hours,wished me at midnight though far away...& my best friend wished me first...I felt I'm gifted with so many good people around me...the subtle loneliness in me kept through the day with memories of the past and the lingering thoughts of the past which I felt it the time to feel and fall in love with the past on this day.Rather I felt why not celebrate somewhere but have a huge lot of dumb work as usual and left of no choice than to work... :(

I'm not sure why am writing all this maybe my sad outburst might bring in some solace to my heart....sometimes you also want to try writing when sad also...:)

Many times I've felt life is not at all changing for me when I was in college or school.But after that it is all but changes for me...life is changing like a roller coaster that I could hardly breath my way through...the transitions are sometimes very nice when it's new but now I feet like "Life Give me a break....."

Maybe this is one birthday I would love to forget...I never wrote anything before on my birthdays as it was usual...

As I cross past my quarter century am crying three quarters more...Donno where all this would head-on...as usual whatever I thought is not what I got,yet whatever I got is not what I thought!! As life flows...hope floats!!

On being Alone....

Life a little mistry as it always been....I'm writing on the thoughts embarking from my heart on living alone after many eventful years of living under the shelter of my family and friends....
A few good things being alone are first to say....

• There's no-one to comment on anything I do...good or bad...
• I laugh,cry,sing or dance without any hindrances around and am not bound to any kindof controls....
• I can take my time to talk to myself and others with my own freedom....
• Put the speaker's with full volume!!

A few bad things which needs attention are....

• Many things happen uncontrolled...sleep,food,etc.,
• I tend to strain too much in my laptop as no-one to say "That's enough!"..
• I sometimes spend sleepless nights as I forget to switch the speaker's before sleep...

A few discoveries/improvements are...

• Lost a lot of my anger as I started being alone...
• I realised that I don't fear the dark...
• Started listening to more carnatic flavoured & devotional music which i've never listened before...
• Felt the neccessity and importance of people around me....started valuing and building relationships....
• I saw the positives in every negatives I see in this world...the other side of everyone's action sounds to have some meaning and reasoning as well... :)

With the positives moving me forward...and the negatives driving me crazy....I felt writing down makes some sense for me to understand on the negatives and for others planning for staying alone might get the subtle acpects of it.....I shall update this blog just incase I find something new and interesting!!!

Update-1:

After three months being alone, I felt loneliness for the first time,when I fell ill.I did overcame it by spending time with my friends...yet I felt is it a need for me to be alone, given all it's advantages,I did not wanna solitude take over my life...I started reconsidering it!!!

Update-2:

For any social animal like me,living alone is difficult.I was giving all the reasons about staying alone and now I backed myself back with my friends....Life is new again...

Bangalore-Chennai-The Journey

I did think for quite some time on which topic I'm going to pen down in the next blog I write.I had quite a few choices.Yet,I felt this would be apt choice to write next coz I felt I need to pen this out.Every time I travel between bangalore and Chennnai,It is indeed a different experience and a lot of interesting people,interesting incidents and accidents have happened all the time.A few random facts are...

• I get to speak with a lot of strangers(Infact all are stangers),we speak a lot for hours on all topics from public to personnal topics in the journey and we dont exchange any information which can be carried forward.
• I've never seen a person wanting to get my contact once the journey is over and never had a chance to get any contacts too..we always say Nice meeting!!
• Sometimes it's the eyes doing the talk too...with strangers of the opposite sex!!! and recognising with smiles too.....
• Some try to blow their trumpets a little more than wat actually is...
• Once we ended up spending ticket of around A/C class ticket while on a unreserved coach....That's called fate...
• Most people offer food and other things though nobody accepts it for the sake of it...

And many more funny things which I often come accross in my journeys....one sweet thing is the journey is never the same......

On "The Alchemist"....

For 23years I was never a ardent reader of any kindof books except techi books... ma cup of tea till date....I read technical books for they are the only source of building me in becoming stronger in every sense i could think of...
One fine day,I went into a book fair and was browsing through technical books.Suddenly,somehow my vision turned to a orange covered book titled "The Alchemist".I didnt know I stopped there with a impressed thought without much hesitance I took the book and was thinking if I'm to read it...a friend of mine peeped in and said "That's a good book...".And, the cover was written as the book that changed millions of lives.I wondered how...I felt curious, yet left the place not buying the book. Sunday morning,I finally bought "The Alchemist- Paulo Cealho" in a lane near my home.
The story begins like "A sheperd called Santiago...a boy who chose to be a sheperd for the passion of his life...to travel the whole world and understand the universal language of life".The first part of the story is what I loved when the boy is enlightened by the emperor to find the treasure of his life...The Alchemist says "when you are really towards something,all the world will conspire you..."The most powerfull sentence I came across in the recent past after the "Arise,Awake and stop not till you reach the goal...".
The book moves on a cool pace where you will reach a stage when you really dont wanna complete the book.As pages become less,I was tending to read slower,not because it was boring but because the fear it will get over.A fear it will end Santiago's journey though he takes away the treasure of his life....me as reader can take nothing if I wanted to end reading the alchemist...
The juice I drank on reading the Alchemist is sweeter than the techi I usually read...It was helping me understand life..."The Alchemist" book has everything in the right proportion to make life a smoothening experience.It talks on passion,luck,love,power,pride,perseverance,the importance of peace,the beauty of success and what not....yet lot more is written and much more can be felt.The real joy of reading a book lies in sharing it for life and "The Alchemist" blends it in a beautifully poetic way.....Great..
Here I am in my 24th year with great thirst to read books...I find its a good change coz books takes away the solitude in you...Keeps you in great company helping you in making life better.
A nice accident indeed...