The 24th Birthday...

Yea am completing my 24years of existence in this world and starting my 25th year into this world.For many years my birthday has always been something similar and I have many to be around with....My mom making the sweets,my friends wishing me & going out for some party...
And the celebration,though very small goes on till the night dawns...

But this one is different,I'm in mumbai this time and it's really different to me...I dont know anyone here...I see a lot of people,speak to many but none is closer to me..A world whole lot of difference...A place where no-one understands the languages I speak,a place where temptations are high,but the real difference is I'm not able to celebrate...I'm hating the way life is turning out to be....A lot difficult than it used to be....

Well....the sweet factor is many of my friends wished me as usual. I'm glad that my brother who usually wishes at normal hours,wished me at midnight though far away...& my best friend wished me first...I felt I'm gifted with so many good people around me...the subtle loneliness in me kept through the day with memories of the past and the lingering thoughts of the past which I felt it the time to feel and fall in love with the past on this day.Rather I felt why not celebrate somewhere but have a huge lot of dumb work as usual and left of no choice than to work... :(

I'm not sure why am writing all this maybe my sad outburst might bring in some solace to my heart....sometimes you also want to try writing when sad also...:)

Many times I've felt life is not at all changing for me when I was in college or school.But after that it is all but changes for me...life is changing like a roller coaster that I could hardly breath my way through...the transitions are sometimes very nice when it's new but now I feet like "Life Give me a break....."

Maybe this is one birthday I would love to forget...I never wrote anything before on my birthdays as it was usual...

As I cross past my quarter century am crying three quarters more...Donno where all this would head-on...as usual whatever I thought is not what I got,yet whatever I got is not what I thought!! As life flows...hope floats!!

On being Alone....

Life a little mistry as it always been....I'm writing on the thoughts embarking from my heart on living alone after many eventful years of living under the shelter of my family and friends....
A few good things being alone are first to say....

• There's no-one to comment on anything I do...good or bad...
• I laugh,cry,sing or dance without any hindrances around and am not bound to any kindof controls....
• I can take my time to talk to myself and others with my own freedom....
• Put the speaker's with full volume!!

A few bad things which needs attention are....

• Many things happen uncontrolled...sleep,food,etc.,
• I tend to strain too much in my laptop as no-one to say "That's enough!"..
• I sometimes spend sleepless nights as I forget to switch the speaker's before sleep...

A few discoveries/improvements are...

• Lost a lot of my anger as I started being alone...
• I realised that I don't fear the dark...
• Started listening to more carnatic flavoured & devotional music which i've never listened before...
• Felt the neccessity and importance of people around me....started valuing and building relationships....
• I saw the positives in every negatives I see in this world...the other side of everyone's action sounds to have some meaning and reasoning as well... :)

With the positives moving me forward...and the negatives driving me crazy....I felt writing down makes some sense for me to understand on the negatives and for others planning for staying alone might get the subtle acpects of it.....I shall update this blog just incase I find something new and interesting!!!

Update-1:

After three months being alone, I felt loneliness for the first time,when I fell ill.I did overcame it by spending time with my friends...yet I felt is it a need for me to be alone, given all it's advantages,I did not wanna solitude take over my life...I started reconsidering it!!!

Update-2:

For any social animal like me,living alone is difficult.I was giving all the reasons about staying alone and now I backed myself back with my friends....Life is new again...

Bangalore-Chennai-The Journey

I did think for quite some time on which topic I'm going to pen down in the next blog I write.I had quite a few choices.Yet,I felt this would be apt choice to write next coz I felt I need to pen this out.Every time I travel between bangalore and Chennnai,It is indeed a different experience and a lot of interesting people,interesting incidents and accidents have happened all the time.A few random facts are...

• I get to speak with a lot of strangers(Infact all are stangers),we speak a lot for hours on all topics from public to personnal topics in the journey and we dont exchange any information which can be carried forward.
• I've never seen a person wanting to get my contact once the journey is over and never had a chance to get any contacts too..we always say Nice meeting!!
• Sometimes it's the eyes doing the talk too...with strangers of the opposite sex!!! and recognising with smiles too.....
• Some try to blow their trumpets a little more than wat actually is...
• Once we ended up spending ticket of around A/C class ticket while on a unreserved coach....That's called fate...
• Most people offer food and other things though nobody accepts it for the sake of it...

And many more funny things which I often come accross in my journeys....one sweet thing is the journey is never the same......

On "The Alchemist"....

For 23years I was never a ardent reader of any kindof books except techi books... ma cup of tea till date....I read technical books for they are the only source of building me in becoming stronger in every sense i could think of...
One fine day,I went into a book fair and was browsing through technical books.Suddenly,somehow my vision turned to a orange covered book titled "The Alchemist".I didnt know I stopped there with a impressed thought without much hesitance I took the book and was thinking if I'm to read it...a friend of mine peeped in and said "That's a good book...".And, the cover was written as the book that changed millions of lives.I wondered how...I felt curious, yet left the place not buying the book. Sunday morning,I finally bought "The Alchemist- Paulo Cealho" in a lane near my home.
The story begins like "A sheperd called Santiago...a boy who chose to be a sheperd for the passion of his life...to travel the whole world and understand the universal language of life".The first part of the story is what I loved when the boy is enlightened by the emperor to find the treasure of his life...The Alchemist says "when you are really towards something,all the world will conspire you..."The most powerfull sentence I came across in the recent past after the "Arise,Awake and stop not till you reach the goal...".
The book moves on a cool pace where you will reach a stage when you really dont wanna complete the book.As pages become less,I was tending to read slower,not because it was boring but because the fear it will get over.A fear it will end Santiago's journey though he takes away the treasure of his life....me as reader can take nothing if I wanted to end reading the alchemist...
The juice I drank on reading the Alchemist is sweeter than the techi I usually read...It was helping me understand life..."The Alchemist" book has everything in the right proportion to make life a smoothening experience.It talks on passion,luck,love,power,pride,perseverance,the importance of peace,the beauty of success and what not....yet lot more is written and much more can be felt.The real joy of reading a book lies in sharing it for life and "The Alchemist" blends it in a beautifully poetic way.....Great..
Here I am in my 24th year with great thirst to read books...I find its a good change coz books takes away the solitude in you...Keeps you in great company helping you in making life better.
A nice accident indeed...

When I saw the riots strike....

One fine night,I was on casually with my roomates for dinner....I was walking in the middle and two others in the ends.cool was the weather and happilly we were moving down the lane with breeze soothing us around.....we were chatting something ridiculous as ever....loud and joyous....fun as ever.....

As we went past the lane...There was slightly lonely spot...where we a saw drunkard kindof guy came slightly clloser and salluted us...We just shyed away from him...and tried to pass on...

Suddenly,that guy balsted a slap on my friend walking in the left...we were awestruck n ferocious....I just lifted him and he angrily reciprocated him with good slap...man there started the riot....around four or five guys piled in and started attacking him....i tried my best pull him out but he was not ready to pushoff...I told him to run..but no he wanted to fight it out...but they were very powerful to us...four five hard looking guys...no doubt they were ferocious without fear...he was beaten, i tried all my efforts to pull him and run off the sight....other friend ran off the sight(poor dude small boy..)...I don know when...I just survived a kick which was not very powerfull though.....

Then I somehow dragged him away and I pleaded them to leave us in peace....I was shouting "Please boss...leave us leave us...."I did feel embarrassed to call these inhuman dogs with respect...but the situation was like tat...i had pull my friend out of this,before he gets worser....good number of people gathered around and no one had a clue what was happening...even we don't!!!..finally we somehow came out of the fight and things did calmed down....my friend luckily survived with no injury with his shirt torn and lost sandals......Thanks to God.....

Well,my intension from first was to escape....I didn't wanna fight...I felt we have a lot of better things to do,we can't face the police and all shit that follows...If he had ran away after the first slap.....we could have avoided rest of the shots he got and it would have been much better....But it's very obvious human's reaction with a blow to a blow...but I doesnt make sense....we cant fight coz we fear and respect the laws and bound to follow them....

Well,It's around a year since i'm in bangalore...I used to walk around to my friends places even at midnight 2.00 AM...I felt life was peacefull....but u never know.....lifez full of accidents...u never know whats next.....

Few things I would like to share with my experience are

1. Never try to fight back...if u have a chance to escape even if u find yourself strong enough...coz u never know how many others are behind...
   
2. Hold your conciousness and understand the fact that we all can't fight like masters and try to run away...
3. Be alert even in slightly lonely areas...have a keen watch around
   

I'm not a coward,coz I didnt run alone which i could have easily done....but I pulled my pal out of danger...facing the danger around....All I feel is if we could have reacted much smarter by escaping from the scene....I wouldn't have been writing this blog....and spending an hour's time... :)

I would like to say the common dialogue...prevention is better than cure....so folks better prevent than trying to fight it out...Its always nice to think about,hear these stories but its real hard to face when u yourself face the grave.....

Life's once,hence play it with care......

inme4u

Success...a word u wanna hear everytime u do any kindof rubbish....r watever...u wanna win every time u see this world,every time u wanna feel good.....life is something little different...its not the way u want,but its the way it is.....u say u made it....ofcourse u did....but it actually happened coz of ur tiresome work....i wanna win is something i say in everything i say and do....n it does takes me to great levels...but i never know how much i lost in the process...so much strain,so much pain.....for the want of the misspelled glory....success...still crazy for it....cant stop it till life end.....i see success in everything i do....whether i write an exam r fall in love...
And everything have their own share of strain n pain.....but still raring for the feeling u wanna relish on...n on...so many things are like that...like when i fell in love...of course i think i did -:)
i wanted to win that love...when i saw i'm losing it i couldn't really accept the reallity of life...but i strained n strained till my last breath say love is not ur action alone its a mutual feeling....then i felt like i i didnt loose....
in the mean time i became poetic n wrote like
"Love is bee,it sucks all the nector from te sweet sector of the life vector..." i only then realised i lost most of my college life in this....success driven aspect of love i still wanna forget,my heart says its okie...but my mind says its not so...thats the way it goes....
still i dont stop....maybe i wud loose everything else in life for the want of the sweet i sweat so hard....Success...